Today I did something I've been so scared of doing. After close to 12 years of not seeing my father, I finally mustered enough courage and went to my hometown to visit he and my step-mother. It was long overdue.
Apparently I've forgiven myself for all of my anger and resentment I've harbored all these years; forgiven he and my step-mother for actions which I did not understand at that time. I am both proud of myself and disgusted that I allowed it to take so long. All I can do is look to the future for a better relationship with him, not dwell on my childish actions, or non-actions over the years, and continue to forgive.
This is all coming on the heels of another round of forgiveness, and opening of another door which has been in the process of continual revolving for several months now. Sometimes we don't realize how lucky we truly are. I am, finally. I am loved by wonderful people, past and present. Finding that forgiveness, even if it's so far down in my psyche, makes me a better person. "Let it go," and "Just accept it" are my mantras.
Thank you to my loved ones who make me hear this everyday.
