2.16.2010

xanax anyone?

anx·i·ety
Pronunciation: \aŋ-ˈzī-ə-tē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural anx·i·eties
Etymology: Latin anxietas, from anxius
Date: circa 1525
1 a : painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill b : fearful concern or interest c : a cause of anxiety
2 : an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it

not quite sure what's going on with me as of late. not sleeping through the night, and for most of my life i have suspected that i may be a narcoleptic. do you know anyone who has "assed" out watching "the rocky horror picture show" in the first row of a theater? if you do let me know their name so i can babble to them about it.

could it be that i've been wearing the patch to sleep for the last week? no, i've encountered this lack of sleep even before my decision to delve into the land of the "healthy." in fact, the memory of a fully restful night of sleep is waning to nonexistence.

addled, anxiety, restlessness...enough descriptors for now. i am not at peace and i really should be. feeling as though i need to hunker down in my apartment and have some "me" time. close off from the world for a good week. compose myself.

don't get me wrong, i am happy. life is moving along swimmingly for me, and this may be the culprit: being completely preoccupied with another person. as often as i try to get her out of my head, i cannot. not entirely a dreadful thing but frustrating. the distance which separates us. maybe that's it.

no, i know what it is...

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